Taking away a real encounter.

Insist on being the giver and you reduce the other person one step away from being a beggar. If you want to diminish them farther you can simply promise and not deliver, thereby keeping them always waiting, always thinking, always not quite sure. Or you can get others to dance and sing songs for you, promising to reward them for a job well done, and then not ever be quite satisfied with them.

While you might get gratitude for a while, or guilt and tears, you won't get what they had to offer if you'd let them give you what was really in their heart.