No real end

I have thought about it,
late into the evening
Stars shining, the moon is low.
I was the opening you came through
to get to the other side.

Although I feel spent
I cannot dispose of
Your meaningless words
premeditated.
Your indifference
unobserved.
Your love
manufactured.
Waiting in the darkness
you took the privilege
to puncture my life
cause damage and distress.

When your glad adventure
you so skillfully completed
comes to haunt you in the dark,
you will spend night
after night,
trying to erase the pain
that has no place to go.
You choose an ending
that has no
end.

The heart..helpless

At that moment she turned her back to him and left.
He stood there, in that now empty room,
wondering what he had just done.

He caught up to her behind the curtain, on stage and
touched her shoulder. She turned to him, surprised.

Caressing her bare shoulder ever so lightly
with his fingertips, he spoke.
"I guess I didn't know you were sweet and thoughtful
and fun and crazy, and so attentive...and gentle...
I didn't realize how much..how much you loved me.

Something, someone..

She turned to him and said, "I kept thinking that there was something more to you. That despite what you show to everyone else...this other side of you..something decent and honorable. You don't show it to anyone else because your afraid they might exploit it. But you let me see it, and I thought I was so special because you let me in. You let me see the real you."

He listened.

She continued, "But I was just fooling myself. You know what? This is so sad, for someone so smart, you sure are stupid. You could have had something so much better...you could have had something..someone..who had real feelings for you. Who believed the best about you. You could have had me....I guess the truth is - you already did."

Just trying to keep up!

First things first!
Checked online for final Physics grade...
I got an A! Am I amazing or what?
(Shit, I can't believe it!)

Wednesday August 19-They were moving 4 houses to a different location. My son wanted to watch (ok I did too). So we got up at 1am which was actually...
Thursday August 20-very early in the morning.
Moved the houses during the night,
because of traffic.
It was exciting. I knew the mover, the guy who bought the houses and was having them moved and the electrical crew who was moving the electrical wires. (Impressed my son, if no one else). Reed decided he was going to be a house mover when he grows up.
We stayed out till 4:30am.
Reed with his Dad after work for dinner (and his girlfriend and her kids).
I added the part in parenthesis, just because.
Out to dinner with a friend.
Friday August 21-Took the morning off,
should have taken the whole day off.
Reed and I went to dinner.
He had his friend Garrett over who spent the night.
Saturday August 22-Reed and I went to the movie.
Went with friends to a BBQ and dance outdoors.
It was beautiful out. Reed and other kids played with the football.
I had a marvelous time! Thanks!
Sunday August 23-Church, groceries, Reed had another friend over.
We all went to "the club" swimming. Charged lots of snacks and drinks to x-husbands account. Reed said it was ok with Dad, so.....
Mowed the grass. See it's not all fun and games.
Monday August 24-Another Monday at work, only one left till the lay off date. I'm ok, really! Shopping with Reed, more school clothes.
Ate at Buffalo Wild Wings. What? they took out the game where you shoot deer?
Hot wings, then to TCBY for ice cream.
Sort of a tradition.
Today August 25Meet your teacher night at Reed's school.
Can he actually be a 3rd grader?
I promise more poetry, as you have asked.
A bit of fiction too.

Time fly's when your..having fun!?

Reed's baseball team won the championships!
Received trophies. 1st place 2 years in a row.
Proud of you Reed! Your the best!

Thursday August 13-My final Physics test. I'm always last to hand it in. So he grades it while I wait.
Wait for it...
80%! Yikes that was close!
Need to log in to college website to get final grade.
Should be arriving soon!
Friday August 14-Day off from work
That's all I will say.
Saturday August 15-Worked around the house,
movie, and dinner. Think I said Mmmmmm all through
dinner. Delicious! Dessert? Yes! Warm fudgy chocolate
cake with cinnamon ice cream. Mmmmmmm.
Sunday August 16-Motorcycle ride, worked on
my photo album. Reed home from his vacation!
Did he get taller?
Monday August 17-Up really early.
That's what friends are for!
Thanks for coming! I owe you one! Or two
Busted my ass at work. Mowed the lawn.
Hung out with Reed.
TODAY August 18-Busy as hell at work.
Every time the phone rings
I hate Alexander Graham Bell
A little more!
Reed's friend and his mom came over.
Had a Mike's Hard Lemonade on the porch.
Walked them part way home
Stopped at another one of Reed's friends
Had a glass of wine.
Huummm, stay home mom's....
I like how they end their day!

I want of your love

Without knowing how, or when or where
I want to love you
Without problems or uncertainty
Because I don't know
Any other way to love

I want to love you
in this way

I want to breathe
you in
I want to share
Your air inhaling what you
exhale I'd love to be that

Close two of us breathing
Each other as one

I want to wake up together
Exchange kisses
Without thinking
Without surprise
Clasp our hands together

I want to love you
in this way

White Horse

Previous 5 day forecast

Where did the last 5 days go?
Thursday-Physics test 95%
Do I know this girl genius?
Fuck you (00000) for
spending all your time
focusing on my weaknesses
and being blind to my strengths!
One more test to go!
Then out for a little dancing!
Friday-Out with friends-Good
Dog ran away-Bad
Called someone who I thought
would care.
They didn't.
Saturday-Got woke up early
Feels good!
Breakfast
Evening get together
Sunday-Just boxing stuff up
Talked to son
Movie with friend
Monday morn-Up early again!
Stop that!

Batter up!

My 8 year old son's baseball team played in the championships tonight. They had a great coach. The boys really learned alot. It was a great game, a close game! They WON! They received trophies and I think I took 100 pictures! Reed was last up to bat, hit one into the outfield and brought the last guy home.

Talkin' bout love

To love means never to be afraid
of the windstorms of life.
Should you shield the canyons
from the windstorm,
you would never see
the true beauty
of their carvings.

-Elizabeth Ross

Four

What happens
in the first 4 minutes
dictates
what will happen
the rest of the day

Adventures and Encounters

Following a small path
in the woods
crunching the leaves.
Waves upon the shore
the ocean, new to you
I was there.
Looking out upon the city lights
Scanning the night
polished nightstars,
Everlasting hike
Pools of water
glinting and hanging with mist
I was there.
Another night
much later now
No rain forest or rainbow
they're gone away
Stoic patience
I was there

Oh, what to do.

Well I am 2 days into Reed being on vacation with his dad. Only 15 more days to go. While of course I will be having extra time to finalize on the house stuff, the fact remains I get sorta use to having him around. Now I will be wondering what he's doing. (Chuck not real big on letting him call.)

Started out with going to a party.
Coming home because of a storm.
(Storms kinda freak me out)
Stayed up late.
Was woke early. (Yes, Good!)
Taken out for breakfast.
On my way to a road rally
And dance tonight.

I think I will be kept busy.