While she slept

The curtains billowed.
Balls of wind swept through, longing
To touch her warm hair.

Unsurpassed friendship

Tonight I had cocktails with some of the most important people in the world. No, it wasn't the President of the United States, or my State Senator or Governor. I had cocktails with students who are being educated in the field of Sonography.

What makes these people so important? The fact that they are everyday people, with busy lives, who are willing to go the extra mile to learn something that will assist someone in need. They are giving up many important things to pursue a career in this field. A very demanding field. They are glorious people. These very people have embraced me as their friend and are able to see the person that I really am, although my circumstances have brought about a different path for me.

That is what being a professional is really about. The 5 people at my table with me tonight are just that. It's not about how much power you have over someone, not how you can intimidate or control. It's not about the grade you get on paper, because truly, that is only determined by the person with the red ink pen who grades your test. These 5 people will go the distance and stand out from the crowd. Why? Because they have integrity, morals, compassion and are truly humble souls.. My friends are strong people with values. They will make it in this profession, because of their self esteem and self respect. Yes, others will make it in this profession, but they truly will never succeed without those vital characteristics.

I have learned that when tragedy hits, values change, relationships become more precious, and life itself more important than any day-to-day occupation or any material possession. When your values change, your life changes. Although hard to believe, people that mourn are really comforted, and believe it or not, they are happy. And I know, when presented with a tragic situation, these are the people you will want at your side, because they know the most important thing in life is to live your life for something more important than your life... that's what happy people do.

Who will buy my memories

Better Now

Before this day
a sense of quiet
we cannot hear
what each is saying.

Glimpse of your face
in the crowd
we will not know
the wrong on both sides.

Look back if you like
from the edge
we won't feel the touch
of someone who is not there.

Riding with the tailgate down

I saw an old green truck today that reminded me of my childhood days. Our neighbors who lived a few doors down had an old green truck. They used to drive it out to the farm. Now, we all lived in town on the same block, but you see, our neighbors had family that lived about 10 miles out of town, on a farm. We would all jump in the back of the pickup with the tailgate down and off Mr. Johnson would drive. Most generally it was at night. Sure, the tailgate was down and there we would sit with our legs dangling over the edge while Mr. Johnson drove 55 miles per hour down the highway.

Something that kids do not get the opportunity to experience nowadays. What a great feeling, yeah we probably tossed stuff off the back and we waved at the car behind us, and they waved back at us thinking those kids sure are having a fun time. Mr. Johnson never minded what we were doing, he just drove. I remember his denim overalls and plaid long sleeve shirt, and his arm hanging out the window, and he always had a smile on his face, never taking his eyes off the road. "You kids be careful now" he's tell us. We would yell through the back window, Mr. Johnson, put the brakes on...and he would tap the brakes and they would light up red and our shoes looked red and our legs looked red, and we laughed and laughed.

Yep, those were good times.

Just another day

A quick look at some things:

Reed is with his Dad all weekend and although I have plenty of things to do with people who love me, I always seem to miss him. He's such a good boy. He keeps me centered on what is important.

I'm fed up with judgemental people who seem to delight in the pain and suffering of other people.

The Dr. Phil show said some happenings in my life were "compelling." Asked if I would be interested in coming on the show. I am highly considering it.

I think the black sand from the black sand beach in Hawaii has got to go back. Been saying it for 20 years, had a friend that went to Hawaii and wouldn't take it, (Oh, that's what friends are for!)

I know exactly

Things turning out quite differently,
but then they always change
Many friends have come and gone,
with my priorities rearranged.

No broken branches

They take long walks and often hold hands.
She prefers they just remain friends. Forever.

Are you Everybody?

Everybody wants to be cool, sound cool,
look cool, but that's just a cover up.

Svojohism

"They don't like you because you reflect what they are not."

Shoulda known

What happens when you continually jab and pester a barracuda?

Without warning, it will spin around and tear your face off.

Shoulda known better.

Oh, no.

He disappeared one September night
down the street
on his way to the store
he just went out
and never came home.
They agonized in pain
about what to do,
but the pie was done
so they decided
to have a slice.

Fun Zone???

Went to the State Fair with Reed last weekend and spent time on the Midway. Reed went into a fun house, I waited.

Then I read the sign.

No running, no jumping?

Are you kidding me?

And it was 4 tickets for all that fun!

Why one forgets

Somehow tenderness survives
amid the menace to life,
You spring forth in a fever of love
and again at the last moment

A sword you will sharpen.
Everything cannot make you happy,
Never to your liking
You shrug your shoulders.

Raise your hands to the sky
disappear when you want to,
Rendering all unlovely and unlovable
and yet your heart looks back at me.

When the world falls in around you
you will have a sudden gasp of brightness,
and beyond your reach
I was your exuberant soul.

What he knew of you

What he knew of you
was behind a thick canvas,
only being able to see
a small amount.

Or else a coat of paint
that covered up the rust
that had started
to become visible.

A burning ember
in a forest
smoldering, waiting
to engulf the mountainside.

You were a river flood
quickly without warning
causing devastation to those
in your path.

Seemingly unknowing to the
pain you have caused,
most cruel,in great despair
a young boy cries.

Mr. Deception

Untitled

"Come on in, what's going on?" he says without making eye contact with me.
"The usual" I answer quietly. I sit down in the big couch and wait for him to turn his chair towards me. I assume I am the last customer of the day because it is late, and I am understanding of this and wait for his attention to divert to me.
"Your enthusiasm is underwhelming" I hear him say, but I am distant today, unable to focus.
I wait for a moment, anticipating if he will stay in the office chair, or move to the wing back chair.
You see, the chair tells me alot about him.
Although I am there because his advice keeps me in my current existence, I must admit that the chair he chooses gives me a preview of his level of being plugged in and engaged in the conversation.

You see, the office chair speaks of casualness, like your favorite worn out pair of blue jeans with the rip. He leans way back, taps his fingers on the desk and checks his text messages when I hear his phone vibrate. Sometimes while speaking I do not make eye contact, but when I decide to, many times he is yawning or checking his watch.

Do not misunderstand my perception of "the chairs", I do not anguish over it as such that, it is what I perceive it to be.
I am in a foggy twilight, I hear the tone of his voice, and regardless that I am sitting in the same room, I do not hear.

It is obvious I am getting in my own way now, because I am focused on the wing back chair and when his time is spent there it speaks, I am a searchlight that will guide you and bring you to safety. No matter what storm you may be in. I am steadfast.

Oh, these heavy thoughts of mine. While some may see weakness in the mire thought of it all, those who do not tax their lives with forethought will never know the presence of still water.

For Brian

The City by C.P. Cavafy

You said, "I will go to another land,I will go to another sea.
Another city will be found, a better one than this.
Every effort of mine is a condemnation of fate,
and my heart is - like a corpse - buried.
How long will my mind remain in this wasteland.
Wherever I turn my eyes, wherever I may look
I see black ruins of my life here,
where I spent so many years destroying and wasting."

You will find no new lands, you will find no other seas,
The city will follow you. You will roam the same streets.
And you will age in the same neighborhoods,
And you will grow gray in these same houses.
Always you will arrive in this city. Do not hope for any other-

There is no ship for you, there is no road.
As you have destroyed your life here
in this little corner, you have ruined it in the
entire world.