Positive comments work better.

Reed (age 9) played football Saturday and Sunday. He really likes to play and although he is not real aggressive, he does a pretty good job. The thing I dislike is when he comes off the field when the game is over and his team didn't win. His dad will be waiting for him, and usually the first thing out of his mouth is negative. On Saturday he said, "You look like a ballerina out there" and then he proceeds to imitate what he felt Reed looked like. How bad that has to make Reed feel. Well, I know how bad he feels, because he tells me.

I don't think his dad really gets it, and it surprises me that his fiance doesn't say anything. Or maybe she does, and she gets the response I used to get, so you just learn to keep your mouth shut. Or maybe the fact that she's 35ish and he's 49 has something to do with it. (But hey, that's a story for another day.)

Comments like that do nothing for this self esteem.