Advice at a price

Leaning way back in his office chair with hands clasped behind his head, he said, "You have to know this was not about you. This is about his deficiencies, his inadequacies, his immaturity." She kept her head turned slightly away from his and her long blond hair fell aside her face and blocked his view of her tears.

"It's been said a man's got to know his limitations" he continued. "He lied to you, he didn't show up, he didn't have the courage to look you in the eye and tell you." She nodded her head but still did not speak. He leaned forward in his chair, resting his elbows on his knees and said, "Maybe you won this thing. Maybe you lost a loser. You may have dodged a bullet. He didn't step up and tell you the truth." Knowing he was right, she nodded her head in agreement.

He turned his chair towards the window and pulled the cord on the blind and raised it slightly, looking into the parking lot to see if his next client had arrived. Turning back around he said, "Same time next week?" She stood and put her hand on the doorknob. "Yeah, that's fine" she replied. He handed her an appointment card. She forced a small smile said, "Thanks, see ya." She opened the office door and left.

So I said, "You think that's big!"

So I said, "You think that's big!", originally uploaded by Bryan Ledgard.

This was on an e-mail going around. It claimed to be a quote from Andy Rooney on the show 60 minutes. It was so FUNNY I wanted to share it with you. Sorry guys...

For all those men who say, "Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free? here's an update for you. Nowadays 80% of women are against marriage. Why? Because women realize it's not worth buying an entire pig just to get a little sausage!

Music intertwined with my heart

Another Rascal Flatts...close your eyes and listen.

Svojohism

When somebody says one thing
and they do another,

What they do is true and
what they say is camouflage.

Stinkin' Turkey

I did something really stupid the other day. I went down the basement to get something out of the freezer. When I went to retrieve it, I realized it was at the bottom. (Why is that?) So, I moved the frozen pizza, took my 14lb. turkey out and set it on the floor. I retrieved what I wanted and went upstairs.

Couple days later, I went back down to get something else from the freezer and tripped over the turkey I had left to thaw on the basement floor. (By accident of course.) I'm thinking, was that yesterday I left this out? HHuummm... maybe I can just cook it. (I'll smell it first I thought.) So I sliced open the bag and almost fell to the God Damn floor. Holy shit, the smell was bad. Nope, won't be cooking this turkey. I put it in a Walmart bag and put that bag in a Walmart bag, and continued to do this until I used up all those stupid Walmart bags.

Then I'm thinking...I'm not putting this God forsaken turkey in my trash outside. So I loaded it in the pickup bed of my new hummer (I love my hummer!) and drove to some dumpy apartments, went thru the alley and tossed it in their dumpster. That will scare the neighborhood cats away, maybe even the neighbors too!

Moral of the story? Don't be a fucking tight ass and even consider cooking meat after it thawed on the basement floor. After thinking about it I realized it was out for 5 days. Oh, and what ever you do...DON'T CUT THE BAG OPEN TO SMELL IT!

Meanwhile and since then...

Promises of undying love
Have melted
Now it is over.
It wasn't very long
And I can say good-bye
Without regrets
(Or at least a few) and
Softly
Wave away your face.
But I can wish
And truly do,my dear
That you had know me
In the summer months

Long late shadows
Mixed with emotions unspent
I am golden-bright
Softly tattered.
The silent
Crease lines of confusion
Disappear from in between
Into laughing cheerful smiles.

And I'm silent again
No more heart on my sleeve
Suddenly everything we had in common
Melted in the patio sun.
Outside was my favorite shade of outside
Now I see your face
In a misty fog
Which steams the glass
On bathroom windows.

You could have asked how much time was spent
Making funny faces or walking in the waves
Instead you listened to the way I am
And you understood when you saw me draw a smile
on the bottom of my paper cup

Wish I could give you a name
You could wear like the time of the day I wake up best.

Svojohism

What brings us together, will tear us apart.