Stinkin' Turkey

I did something really stupid the other day. I went down the basement to get something out of the freezer. When I went to retrieve it, I realized it was at the bottom. (Why is that?) So, I moved the frozen pizza, took my 14lb. turkey out and set it on the floor. I retrieved what I wanted and went upstairs.

Couple days later, I went back down to get something else from the freezer and tripped over the turkey I had left to thaw on the basement floor. (By accident of course.) I'm thinking, was that yesterday I left this out? HHuummm... maybe I can just cook it. (I'll smell it first I thought.) So I sliced open the bag and almost fell to the God Damn floor. Holy shit, the smell was bad. Nope, won't be cooking this turkey. I put it in a Walmart bag and put that bag in a Walmart bag, and continued to do this until I used up all those stupid Walmart bags.

Then I'm thinking...I'm not putting this God forsaken turkey in my trash outside. So I loaded it in the pickup bed of my new hummer (I love my hummer!) and drove to some dumpy apartments, went thru the alley and tossed it in their dumpster. That will scare the neighborhood cats away, maybe even the neighbors too!

Moral of the story? Don't be a fucking tight ass and even consider cooking meat after it thawed on the basement floor. After thinking about it I realized it was out for 5 days. Oh, and what ever you do...DON'T CUT THE BAG OPEN TO SMELL IT!