Incident Report

My son brought home a Incident report from his school yesterday, I want to share it with you.
Today at recess, a girl classmate of Reed's reported that he told her he wanted to kiss her. The girl reported that she did not like it.

When I talked to Reed, I explained that, at school, it is inappropriate to tell someone that you want to kiss them. Reed understands that kissing a parent or family member is appropriate, but telling classmates that he wants to kiss them may make them feel uncomfortable.

Reed apologized to the student and agreed that, in the future, he will tell students that he wants to be their friend.

Signed , the school counselor
_____________________

I called the school counselor back and said "He's 6 years old for God's Sake! Back in my day they didn't tell you, they just did it. Look how polite he is!"

What are they going to think when he tells a girl he wants to carry her books?

Signed, the Mom

What's in your neighborhood?

Its a beautiful day in the neighborhood, a beautiful day for a neighbor,
would you be mine, could you be mine?
Things I saw while working today in various neighborhoods..

1. A dead deer
2. Mud
3. Little baby kittens
4, A dog who wanted to play fetch with a beer can.
5. A lady shaking her rugs
6. Horses
7. Old old pea green VW Van
8. A truck dumping corn
9. A guy welding
10. 3 deer heads sitting by the back door. Still had hair on them.
11. The lady at the Starbucks drivethru window.
12. Mailman smoking
13. A house that should be condemned.
14. Swing set and trampoline.
15. A hawk eating a squirrel.
16. Guy driving a forklift.
17. A huge rock, actually I didn't see it, I drove over it first and tore my front bumper off.
18. The drunk guy walking from the liquor store with a 6-pack at 8:10am.
19. Paper snowflakes made by a child hanging in the window.
20. Little kids running to their parents after school.

Another great day!

A message for my heart

Today at work one of the guys I work with said something to me that really surprised me. We were coming into the office after a cold snowy morning reading meters. We were commenting on the weather and about our loss of jobs. The humor was light as we joked around.

Charter looked over at me and said, "Out of my 32 years here, and working with all these people, I'm going to miss you the most." He turned and flashed a smile. You have been fun to work with and are so interesting. You have achieved so much in your life, none of these people come close to what you have accomplished." As he spoke his arms were stretched out wide as to gester to all those around us.

I looked over at him and thanked him, told him he was going to make me cry. He smiled and went out of the office.

When I started this job, this man would not even speak to me. He was in his late 50's and really kept to himself, not sharing information, or speaking much at all. He had worked 30 years with some of these people, they did not know a thing about him. He didn't offer, and others didn't ask. Until me.

I think I brought him out of his shell, and let me tell you, I still did not know much about this fellow I worked with daily.

He brought something to me today, a reason to be proud of who I am. Proud of what I have done. Most were not even work related, just bits and pieces of my life, risks I have taken, places I have been.

I could never see it in myself. Charter did, he said it in a way that made me believe it.

I thank him, I can move forward now, without looking behind with sorrow.

Hurry

Only a day away
and the loneliness is unbearable
How will it be if you are a year gone?

What will happen
if I am not to know again
your warm arms
your shoulder next to my face at night
our quiet talks
your tender touch
and oh God

so many things.

Hurry

On second thought?

Card 2 outside

My father had a good
Line for tightwads.
He'd tell them "You're
So tight you squeak
When you walk."
Now It's up to me to
Carry on that tradition.

Card 2 inside

You're so tight you
Squeak when you walk.

Anonymously yours

A New Career?

2 weeks ago, they told 5 of us at work they were going to lay us off.
Every minute of everyday I think...I'm going to start something new. Here is my idea.
A line of Greeting Cards called Sounding off. Cards that say it like it is!
Heres an example..tell me what you think.

Card 1 outside
Something's Missing

Card 1 inside
Ah Yes, A couple of
Old wrecked cars
Sitting on concrete
Blocks would be the
Final touch to your
Tacky yard.

Anonymously yours

Not bad huh? View Card 2 tomorrow..

With Love

I have loved you

in so many ways

in crowds or all alone.

When you were sleeping beside me.

When you were away

I've imagined others watching you in the street

or worse--you in other peoples' arms.

I have seen the march of the beach birds and loved you.

I have lent myself to summer sun and loved you.

And seeing naked trees

and raising my collar to the wind

and counting the minutes till chartered hours were there

I have loved you.

And the questions never asked,

The answers learned at love's expense.

I've promised myself

I will not ask where you have been tonight

I'll only say hello

and hope.

Such is Life

I have been sitting here, staring at this blank white page. Wondering where I stepped on that big crack in life, the one that breaks your back.

Have you seen the show the Ten Commandment? Your know the part when Moses comes down the hill after seeing God and getting the Commandments. He's pretty mad at all the people below and how they are behaving? Following me so far??

Okay, he throws the Commandments, the earth opens up and people start falling in. Some are just hanging on to the edge, and you are thinking, shit that is not good. The fire and steam are coming up and people are screaming, and holding on for their lives...

My life is similar to that everyday..

Nobody knows

Sitting in front of the fireplace on the floor with my laptop. I promised myself I would write tonight, instead of catching up on Oprah and Dr. Phil on the DVR.
Trying to keep it together. Divorce truly would not be so difficult if you did not have a child.
I try to keep a normal family life for my son, by having his dad come over.

They play and read books. They sit in the big brown leather chair together, not really well, the chair is not big enough for both of them, but it doesn't seem to matter. His Dad gets him a snack and he digs around in the fridge, complaining I don't have any Caffeine Free Diet Coke.
I never drank it, he did and feels I need to have some for him.
He had dinner with us last night. Hopefully these things allow my son to feel he has a family.
It is so hard to do.

He reads my day planner, it sits open on the kitchen counter. He lets me know when his meetings are, which Saturdays he works, when he will be out of town.
He tells me about the functions and parties he is going to. He wants to make sure I don't have anything going on so I can watch our son.
The functions and parties I use to go to.
I am no longer welcome.
This has been the most difficult thing to get over, the social functions, drinks on the deck with our friends..his friends.
He is the Executive, the man of the town, volunteer, on the Hospital Board,and many different committees. He is the one that gets to go. He is the chosen one. How could any one divorce such a great guy they all say.

No more BBQ's, beers, and desserts on the patio sitting in the lawn chair. No more roasting marshmallows for my son. No more playing with all the kids.
People are judgemental, and it is so painful.
So lonely. I suffer each and everyday questioning the decision to divorce.
I wonder sometimes if this pain, lonely pain of being left behind, is better than the sadness I had in the marriage. I wonder if he feels like the words in the song, I'm missing you, Are his nights sad? Does he know the mistakes he made?
I swallow the lump in my throat, and smile at the two of them fighting with swords in the living room. Our son is laughing, he is defeating his dad.
At least I can give him that.
When I put him to bed, he cries for his dad,
And I cry for my son.

A Need

Wow, its Sept. already. I feel bad for not writing more. I enjoy writing and think all the time about writing a book.
I feel the need to tell people something. How to stop doing the wrong things in life. How to treat people correctly. How to make someone feel like they have worth. To teach people to do their best.

How to play the "game" at work because it's the only way to make it. Even if its not in your heart to be that way, I have learned you have to push that aside.
I would love to travel around, go to businesses and teach them how to treat their customers better. I want to teach waiters and waitresses, what the customers really want from you.
I feel the need to be a guide, a teacher.
I would like to change things for the better.

I want to begin, I want more time to do this. It makes me feel good.
But..I need an income, health insurance, 401K.
So I will keep going there, to that place where they treat people like nobody. They have no empathy. How do they sleep at night...

Bad luck sand

"You better not take that" my mom said, "Its bad luck."
"Yeah, whatever Mom you are so superstitious! I said as I filled a huge Ziploc bag with black sand from Hawaii.
I was 22 or 23. Thought I knew it all.
The legend is that if you take Black Sand from the beach in Hawaii the Gods of the Hawaiian people will bestow bad luck on you until you return it. Whatever..

Now trust me when I tell you this. She was right! No, she was fucking RIGHT!
I have had bad luck for the last 21 years. Sure I can blame everything that happens to me on the damn black sand. Let me tell you, my parents remind me all the time that everything that is bad or unlucky is because of the sand.

Just in the last few days, the basement began to flood when it rains. I climbed on the extension ladder to clean the gutters and god only knows what the hell happened but it decided to not be extended and came sliding down and ripped my thumb practically off. I had to go to the E.R and get stitches. The dog got sick, my son got strep throat and missed his 1st day of school. Last night it stormed again and the tree in my yard split down the middle and half of it landed in the neighbors yard ripping out their electrical service.

Ha, you laugh and think that's not so bad.

Let me go back a few years.
When we were leaving Hawaii with my precious sand in my suitcase something happened to the plane and just when we were about to lift off, we didn't and almost ran out of runway. I remember my mom looking over at me across the isle in the plane. She had that I told you so look.

My brother was stabbed 3 times in his home in Phoenix. They were trying to rob him. He almost didn't survive. After a long recovery, he was on his bike and a car hit him and left him for dead in a ditch. He now has a brain injury will never be the brother we all knew.

My dad sold the family business that I worked at for 22 years, leaving me jobless and pissed off.
I did not go to college of course because "Someday this business will all be yours" Well he changed his plans.

Okay, so maybe to you its not so bad. Could be lots worse. That's what your thinking. Isn't it?
Trust me if you ever go to Hawaii, DO NOT bring home the black sand.

Sure I could take it back, but security at the airport could take it, or the plane might crash if they let me on with it.
I could send it back through the mail, but would you really depend on the Postal Service? What if they lost it. Bad luck forever!
If I put my trust in them and it arrives in Hawaii, how do I really know that the person who opens the box actually will take it to the beach and pour it out.

A little advice okay?
Listen to your mother, because you know in the end she will be right....

Winners and Losers

My great friend posted this song on his blog.
Having a tough time in my life choices now and the words are exactally what I am feeling.

P.S. Hes' a great writer and I believe in him.
Go for it!

Occasional Affirmation

Painting the pump on the outside

doesn't change

the polluted water

inside the well.

What is down in the well

will come up in the bucket.

A little help here??

Do me a favor would you? Go outside and see if there is a bush in front of either your electric, gas, or water meter..I'll wait, go ahead.
Your back..you couldn't find your meters?
Well, that's because you probably have a god damn rose bush or evergreen in front of it.

Have you ever heard someone say "Well, someone has to be a garbage man?" When people who have not attended college are in mixed company with "The college graduate."

Well, someone has to be a meter reader! So if you don't mind, pull the vine off the meter, trim the bush back and for gods sake get rid of the rose bushes. It would make my hot miserable day much better.
Nobody plants a rosebush in front of a mailbox so you can't open it, do they??

Department of Utilities Meter Readers all over the world thank you!
Have a happy humid day!

A change of heart

I just want you to know I am easing up on the boy scouts after today. We had a pot luck dinner.
Those wives and (Walmart) can cook. Lots of food and this time... "organized" fun.
My kind of fun!
We turned our liter pop bottles into rockets.
I had fun decorating my rocket, uumm..I mean Reeds rocket.
Ribbons, flames, feathers. We..I mean he did a great job.
The leader put some water in it and added air.
Turned it upside down on this platform they had built.
On the count of 3..you pull the string..
Blast off! God those things went so high. It was fantastic!!

Reed had to drag me out of there...

My little town

Local news from my little town. Population about 23,000. Give or take a few.

Our new 5 million dollar water park has been open about a month.
They already had to close down one of the water slides because it was too fast and too short which resulted in broken ankles. Didn't someone go to college to build water slides?
They put a a big clock with Roman Numerals. The number 4 is IIII. Need to fire that guy too.

A guy here in town was suicidal. He's a little guy maybe 5' 6" 135 pounds. He had a hammer, and the cop had a gun. Huumm, Cop was over 200 pounds. He tazer's the little guy, shoots him in the hand and hip and tazer's him again. Doesn't seem fair to me. What ever happened to talking to him and maybe getting the guy some help? If he was suicidal before ,I bet shooting him made him feel better.

Last week they had a fire in a house that was abandoned, but full of junk, and I mean stuffed full! They even found a dead guy in the closet upstairs. They had to use a cherry picker, remove the window to get him out. What I want to know is how the heck did he get up there, if the place was so full of garbage, that the only way to get him out was through an upstairs window?

Parade trash

We had a parade in our town today. It was a big weekend. John C. weekend.
People are slobs. Everybody just leaves all the trash they brought with them.
In the street.
In the yard.
In the yard of someone else. They put down their blanket in someone else's yard, and when they were done, they leave their trash for someone else to pick up.

Sometimes I cannot accept the behavior of other people.
I just want to tell them they are a bunch of inconsiderate losers.
I want to find out where they live and have a small trash picnic in their yard.

Then leave and see how they like it.

Its YOUR fucking trash, you produced it...

PICK IT UP!

It happened so fast

Today while working something terrible happened.
Right in front of me.
I couldn't stop it from happening.
I witnessed a young boy get hit by a semi-truck.
I was walking from house to house reading meters.
3 boys ran to the cross walk and pushed the button...but couldn't wait for it to say WALK.
They thought they could get across in time. One didn't. The truck hit him. The driver pulled over immediately, when he got out he was as white as a sheet.
The boy was moaning and trying to walk. By the time I got across to him a woman came running from a house, and laid him in the grass. We tried to keep him calm. He was until he heard the sirens. Soon he was surrounded by paramedics and fireman, I stepped back.
I thought the woman was his mother, but she too was a bystander who came to help. He said he was staying with his Aunt, but had a babysitter. He was in shock and couldn't tell them more.
I overheard the paramedics say it was a possibly a broken leg. He was lucky.
The traffic was loud, they didn't hear me yell.
I went back to the office, I couldn't work any more that afternoon. I couldn't focus on my job.

When I picked up my son from daycare, he asked me how my day was, like he always does. He enjoys hearing my stories. I told him what happened. I cried. I realized how precious he is to me, and I told him that he was. He cried because I was crying. He came to me and hugged me tight and patted me on my back with his little hand. He didn't let go of me even when I relaxed my hug. He held me tight. When he released me, he looked at me and said, "I promise I won't ever do that mom, cuz I will remember this story, and I will wait until it says WALK.
I told him I loved him. He smiled and dashed off to watch Spongebob.
Take an extra second to love them, because it can only take a second to lose them.

Street Shoes

Have you ever been driving down the street and saw a shoe laying in the street?
Not two shoes, always just one.
I want to know what is up with that??
Do people just decide hummm...I'm going to take off my shoe and toss it out the window? Or the kids are having it out in the back seat and out goes brothers shoe??
Wouldn't you go back and get it??
What happens when the person gets where they were going??

Do they just walk around in Target with only one shoe?
If I could ever catch the shoe tossers in action...I would have my answer!

Boy Scout uniform for sale, never worn.

Well I gave the boy scouts another chance after the last issue. Tonight was Family Night at Camp Cedars at 5:30. Bring a salad the newsletter said.
Again, no directions to the camp. Here's the best part though. When we did find the Camp it was very busy. As I expected.

So we asked the first person we saw all decked out in every piece of boy scout clothing possible.
"Where are they eating?" I asked. "Umm.. we aren't eating tonight" we were told. But tonight is family night we replied. Nope that's on Friday we were told.

So we left. I said to the man to whom I was going to unmarry, "Are you sure we should just go by what one person says?" "Well, I'm sure she knows whats going on, you must have written it wrong in the day planner!" he said.
I could have...it's possible...I have a terrible memory...but that's why I have a day planner. My feelings are hurt and Reed is crying in the back seat. "I hate boy scouts, they are stupid" he says. I don't usually allow the word stupid, but I let it slide this time, because well ..they are stupid for gods sake!

So we went back home. Geez, I hate to say it, but I WAS RIGHT.

We should have asked more than one person, and the damn newsletter should give more information. Like... dinner is at Pine Tree Dining Hall or something.

I was incorrect about the last Scout get together, it had a record turn out. 400 attended!

And one damn ketchup bottle!

Remember what is important

15 years ago today my husband asked me to marry him. I remember it like it was yesterday. I came home from work about 10pm. he had some candles going on the stone floor in front of the fireplace, and he had some snacky things to eat. It was romantic. We had been dating for 5 years and we picked the ring out together, so I knew I was getting it. I just didn't know when.

Hes not normally that way. He worked really hard to make it special.
Then the dog got too close to the candles, and started his curly poodle hair on fire.

We went to Europe for our honeymoon.
We had some great vacations together, and traveled frequently.
We had a son after 8 years of marriage, I was 38.

As he climbed the corporate ladder at the Bank where he is employed, our life together became less important as his became more important. He is on numerous boards and is president of this organization and treasurer of another. He has bank golf outings with his friends and everybody in town knows him. He will soon be President of the bank, something he has always wanted.
Something I have always wanted for him. Along the way, he has forgotten what is really important, his family..

The bank won't be there to wipe his mouth when he is unable to do it himself. Nor will the people with whom he socializes with at the Golf Club. nor will I...

I filed for divorce.

I told him over and over what I needed, he listened, but didn't hear.
I am so sad for our son, for now he will be labeled. "Divorced parents"

Failed. I failed my son. I failed me. I am so sad.

Someday he will realize what is most important.
Too late.

Women need to run the Boy Scouts

Today I had my first experience with Cub Scouts. My 6 year old son recently joined and we went to day camp today. Here is how it went. Go to camp Eagle. Take the country road past the golf course, you will see the sign.
There was no freaking sign.
I should have know at that point to just turn around and call it quits.
I didn't, that was the start of hell camp.
After asking 3 different farmers who kept sending me in different directions, the 4th house a woman answered and her directions had us there in 2 minutes.
After registering my son was given a cowboy hat and we had to put a red band of paper on it with a stapler.
There were 200 kids, and one stapler on one picnic table.
"Is there only 1 stapler for all these people?" All the men looked at me like it was a problem.
We had been told we were in the cowpokes group.
They didn't know where that group was though.
After walking in circles and asking, we found them.
Waited to shoot BB guns, they hand my son BB's and tell him load the gun and shoot the target.
Like he's gonna know?
Then we shot bow and arrows, we learned how by watching the kid and dad next to us screw up, so we didn't do what they did.
Sling shots.
Yes, trying to shoot a piece of dog food into a 12 ounce cup hanging on a string with a clothes pin 40 feet away.
Oh yeah, it was windy too.
I wonder if they give badges for fucking up your kids self esteem.
We should have shot the instructor with the sling shot for being a moron.
3 legged races, roll the hula hoop, and tug of war.
I am starving, it's noon and I want my hot dog and watered down orange drink.
Reed's hungry and tired,
This started a t 8am. Nobody seems concerned about where the food is.
They blow the whistle.... I am thinking lunch.
No, go shoot the BB guns again.
Reed is crying and wants to eat.
I want to eat.
We tell some parents in our group we are walking up the road to camp to find the food.
I got the impression we weren't suppose to.
We did anyway.
As we finally found the eating building, everybody else came running.
We each got 2 hot dogs, 3 chips, jello cup and orange drink.
What happened next almost made me flip out.
One ketchup and one mustard bottle for 200 starving kids and 100 dads. Maybe 5 moms.
This is why women should be in charge of everything. After standing in line for ketchup for 5 minutes, I go to the kitchen and ask for more ketchup bottles.
None.
They have 48 ounce container and they were just going to keep refilling the bottle out of that.
I look at the guy and tell him "We are going to open it and put 10 spoons in it and use it that way." He wasn't happy with me, nor I with him, but he did it.
I will tell you if these men went to a wedding, dinner, picnic, etc and women were running it and there was only one ketchup bottle, those men would have bitched.
Oh yeah, one trash can too.
All these men were teaching these boys, the next generation, to be like this.
I wasn't. My son understands there should be more organization and a "plan". Things need to be announced and explained out loud.
Now I see why men don't ask for directions, they must have been in boy scouts.
Reed wanted to leave because it was boring.
I encouraged him to stay and climb some ropes, but he was headed for the car.
I was right behind him.
I'm not a quitter, and I teach Reed to finish things when you start...but...
I will give the Family camping a try, but if all the dads sit around waiting for someone else to build the fire....

Occasional Affirmation

If you have any friends, most likely

they just don't know you well enough yet.

Once they get to know you and figure out

how much of a basket case you are,

they'll be gone in a second.

Once in a lifetime

Well, I got up at 2am this morning to celebrate? an oddity. Let me tell you I did think of this myself. Heard it on the news. So at 02:03:04 on o5-o6-o7 I stood outside on my front porch, stared up to the sky and realized those numbers would never line up like that again. WOW ! It was amazing. To some this would seem meaningless and probably a bit wacky but I thought it was cool. Shared that moment with my friend B. He's not wacky, but he entertains my wackiness without complaint. Was it worthwhile to him? He would say it makes no difference, because it was worthwhile to me. Not too many people are that giving, but he is one of them.

Goodbye for now

There comes a time, not regulated by the
clock or calendar. March, November, or any
season-only, I suppose, the seasons of the
heart...a time to say goodbye.

There was a time not long ago when we knew
only happiness and brought only love to each
other in every way. Try to think about that.
I know it's dangerous to leave an open door,
but there's always tomorrow.

As long as the heart is capable of remembering,
it's capable of love. Think about the possibility
of tomorrow, even though we've just
now said goodbye.

Tolerance

It rained today. A light drizzly kind. I worked outside all day. In the bad area of town. Houses falling apart, blue tarp covering the roof to stop the rain from coming in. Dogs. Not cute little furry ones. Pitt bulls and Rott's pulling on the chain, with big teeth showing. Barking aggressively, yanking on that small chain held securely in the dirt with that little post. Lurching at you, inches from you, so close the froth from their mouth gets on your pant leg.

God, please don't let this be the time the chain breaks.

I read meters at houses that smell of cat urine, from the outside. Houses where I can hear a mother (who shouldn't be) screaming at her children so loudly I can hear through the wall, kids yelling,"no mom don't hit me, I'll be good." By the time I call the cops, its too late the damage is done. Houses where I know meth people are. Aluminum foil covering the windows. People coming and going. Paranoid people, who come out to see what I am doing, am I a cop? "Oh, its just the Utilities lady". "Your not going to shut my electricity off are you?" "No, I'm just reading the meters." "It's okay man, shes just reading the meters."

One of these days, I'm going to go into a backyard and never come out. Some crack head is going to think I'm a cop and shoot me. Trust me, it will happen.
I've been bit by a dog 5 times already, not by a poodle, but by a Pitt, Rott, German Shepard. They take your flesh between their teeth and shake you like a rag doll, and you think its over. Your heart pounds out of your chest, all you can think about is getting the hell out of there. The last dog bit me in the face. The owner was standing right there. "Shit!" I remember saying, "Am I bleeding?" She's like looking at me, the way you look through a magnifying glass, slowly, peering at me. "Uh, not to bad, just a little bit." I could tell she was lying. It didn't look as bad as I expected, hurt like hell. His tooth went through the bone on the side of my nose. Still hurts to wear sunglasses.

Yeah, rained all day, a light drizzly kind....I hate rain.

Happy May Day!

Yesterday was May 1st. You know, May Day? Does anybody know what May Day is all about? Why have we let this holiday go by the wayside?

Didn't you drive around in the car and run around the neighborhood with hand made May Baskets? You would sneek up to the porch, set your may basket down, ring the bell and run? Your receipent would already be expecting you and chase you down the sidewalk and try to kiss you (boy-girl), or catch you, (boy-boy) (girl-girl).
It was great, and your May basket would have the traditional things, a little popcorn, a few salted peanuts (now eliminated due to peanut allergies), candy corn, and spice drops.

AAAhhh, your smiling aren't you?
Thinking about the May baskets your mom made, huh?

Well forget it! I made 15 construction paper May baskets, cut and folded and glued, they were great (same ones I had as a kid, my mom gave me the pattern). We went from house to house in the car, my son sneeking to the porch, ringing the bell and running. God, it was great!!

The kid answers the door and just looks at us, like why are you ringing my bell and running?
Next house, everybody looked out the window and waved at us, didn't even answer the door.
This went on and on. The few that bothered to come out on the porch, just picked it up and went in, with this puzzled look, like why are you running and driving away in such a hurry?

They don't god damn get it.

My son's kindergarten class did not know what a May pole was....What is wrong with this generation, the thrill is gone, the chase is gone.
All but one girl...Allie. She knew what to do and it was a great chase, with her dad cheering her on, but she wasn't fast enough.
Allie's mom told me they had not thought about May Day this year because Grandma had passed away recently and she always made the coolest, prettiest, most original May baskets. She was able to describe them well. I said, "She had to leave a pattern for one someplace didn't she?" "No" she said. All she had was the memory of them.

Don't let this holiday disappear.
Remember to save the pattern for the next people.

Let me paint you a picture

I have been rushing around tonight, trying to get a a million things done. I tell my 6 yr old, hurry do this, hurry do that. Eat your snack, drink your milk, brush teeth, hurry, time for bed, blah, blah, blah...

We get to his room, he puts in his music CD and looks over at me and says "Mom, are you happy?"

I said, "Yes... Don't I seem happy?"

He said, "No."

Wow, that's how he sees it. Made me think about my behavior and actions.

He's a plain white canvas...and I am the paint....

Made in the USA

8 days in Cancun Mexico. WOW! What a great time. Sun was great. Drinks were better.
Now, to work off the 10 pounds I gained. You would be surprised what happens to your body when you lay in a beach chair and let the little mexican boys bring you Pina Coladas.
Didn't have to get up.
Just waved my hand.
The service is great....Yeah...
The 10 pounds are not.
Let me just say, in Cancun they treat you like a Queen. 8 days. Not a single mistake. Food ordered was always correct. Checking in was a breeze and they didn't say "I'll be with you in a moment." Plenty of employees. No one rolled there eyes at you. No one said ,"Sorry I can't do that", or "I don't know." Everything worked, pop machines, candy machines, automatic doors, cash registers, people..
It's so relaxing...
I always dislike getting on that big Frontier plane to go home.
We weren't even off the ground before the stewardess rolled her eyes at my friend Michele.
Customs employees were not friendly.
Guy that drives the transportation van to get us to our car was not pleased when were not sure where our car was at. Come on..that was 8 days ago. My brain was on a siesta. Drove to St. Jo Missouri and stopped at a McDonald's.
Reality check.
1 person waiting on you.
I check the sacks before we leave.
Ketchup..got it..didn't want it. Where is the ranch dressing for the nuggets? They forgot apple slices and gave me fries instead. Forgot the apple juice.
But...they gave me napkins. Go figure. The employee was mad at me because I asked for the things to be corrected.
I got the evil look.
Welcome Home.

My little smartie

Reed (my 6 year old) and I went to a school function tonight. At the end they handed out zip-lock bags with two rolls of smarties candy. On the drive home, he asked "Can I have one?" It was pushing 7:30 pm, and I don't usually allow candy this late.
I made an exception and said " Yes, you can have one."
Continuing to drive, I heard him crunchin' over there in the passenger seat.
(I drive a sports car with only 2 seats, so he has to sit in the front.) I took the fuse to the airbag out, so if we were in an accident, well..it would be safer? (I use to stand on the front seat some 40 years ago, if mom had to stop fast she just stuck her arm in front of me to keep me from projecting through the windshield. Hey, it worked didn't it?, I came out okay!)
Okay, now he's crunchin', and crunchin'..
He's almost eaten the whole package of smarties.
I look over at him and say "We need to practice our communication skills a little more, there's a big difference between 1 piece and 1 package."
"When you ask me next time let me know if your saying 1 piece or 1 package." You have to learn to be more specific honey."
"Okay Mom."
We drive in silence for a while.
"Mom?"
"Yes?"
"Can I have another one?"
I laugh, look over at him and thank God silently for giving me this loving, intelligent boy.
"Sure, go ahead," I tell him.
He proceeds to unwrap the package of smarties and put them all in his mouth at the same time.
I look over at him, and he smiles at me, his cheeks full of candy, and we both laugh.

We got this communication thing down...

We would

If we knew that tonight we were going to go blind, we would take a long last real look at every blade of grass, every cloud formation, every speck of dust, every rainbow, raindrop-everything.

You find out who your friends are

Where does the time go? I could answer that but I am too busy. I dream that I could have time to write everyday. I don't sit at a desk at work, no computer to log on to. I have friends to call, people to see, things to do. No time. My friend Julie C. had back surgery, I want to make dinner for her family, but for god's sake I barely have time to make mine. Thom G.'s dad had his leg removed, (not his choice) and I haven't been over there in weeks. This makes me a crappy friend. (I did let him park in my $600 parking space for Easter Sunday Mass). Does that make me a less crappy friend, probably not. My time will come and everybody will be too busy for me.
So that brings me to..What are friends for anyway? Should they be angry because I wasn't there for them, or should they be forgiving and understanding because I wasn't there for them.

Quiet

On Friday I had the pleasure of working in my most favorite areas. In the lake and river areas. The snow is gone and I have seen the first crocus bloom. The deer are thick in Lake Leba and I always remember to bring my camera, not just for the deer, but many things that I see there. Saw my first Cardinal hopping through the dry grass. In the morning, to hear the birds when all else is quiet is a wonderful thing. Sometimes I take a minute to sit on someone's patio and just listen, and think. I thought about how busy life is with a 6 year old, and how I would like to write more often. I thought about my lifelong friend and how I let his birthday go by without sending him a card or text message or something. I feel bad. We aren't the kind of friends that send a card every year, or acknowledge each others day every time. Our birthdays are only 10 days apart. I think of him even if I don't get that $3.99 Hallmark sent. I have been writing his birthday on my Calendar for about 30 years. Even after I was married, his name remained on the Calendar. He's that important. I wanted to wish him a Happy Birthday this year, but the time slipped away again for the verbal or paper birthday card. I wished him a Happy one, silently in my heart, while I listened to the wind in the evergreen trees.
At the Rod and Gun Club area along the river I took time out to see what the river was up to. A few weeks ago during a thaw, the "mighty" Platte River went over its banks and did some water damage to a few cabins. Mine barely made it out without getting hit by a huge ice chunk. (Huge was 10 inches thick and 6 by 4 feet). It, and many others were piled against my trees thus saving my little cabin from being removed from its foundation. When I bought my little getaway 3 years ago, the original owner said she hadn't had any problems with the river since 1979. Except till now..(It's that damn black sand I brought back from Hawaii, that's another story).

Insight

The truth of the matter is that you always know
the right thing to do. The hard part is doing it.

H. Norman Schwarzkopf

Living in Mister Rogers Neighborhood

Did a little more work downtown yesterday, but nothing exciting. Spoke with one of the writers for the paper, ask him if the drug guy got bonded out and he didn't know. This is not a big town, really surprised he knew less than I did. (Okay, not really). Was able to see the paper, he's out on the streets again. I'm making my sign to hold while I stand in the street in front of his house, NO DRUG DEALERS IN MY NEIGHBORHOOD.

Support your local businesses

Beautiful day out today for those of us who work outdoors. Worked downtown. Visited with the owner of the T.V /stereo store. Yes, it was his store that had a 55 inch T.V stolen. Just shattered the glass on the door and out went the T.V.
Do you think that somebody might have seen 2 guys hauling out a 55 inch T.V at wee hours of the morning and found it unusual? He said local police treating it like his bike was stolen.
Joe's bar was busy this morning, god it's always so dark in there.
Take off your hat and sun glasses before entering the bank.
Went in to Concrete store. "What the hell you want" was first thing I hear. "Just gonna read your meters" I said. "Well don't bother they shut um off." "Oh sorry" I said, "gotta read them anyway" and off I went into the dark back room and into the basement. This dude is just sitting in his business in the dark, with no heat. Just sitting there.
Sure enough, Red tagged the electric meter (means shut off due to non payment). Damn, need new flashlight batteries......maybe I should remove my sunglasses.
Hardware store going out of business. Sorry, Menards has it all.
Standin in front of the Probation office, 50 year old guy that had it all, busted for drugs, second time. His lawyer must have bonded out again. Looked like he was waiting for a ride. He should be in prison. "Hey, Where's your BMW?...Laughing.."Oh yeah, that's right, the Fed's took it!"

Personal Space

The neighbor kids cannot even pick their own teams to play a game of tag. Have you listened to them? " You guys go with them" No I want to be with him", "You guys are bigger than us", "Why do you have more people than us?" "I'm not playing" Blah Blah Blah. What has happened to this generation of kids? I will tell you! The school system is to blame. They organize everything so much for these kids that they do not know how to pick teams, defend themselves, stand up for themselves. My son came home the other day with a note saying he violated someone's PERSONAL SPACE. For God's sake he's 6 years old! What the hell does this mean? It means he hugged someone, touched someone, stood too close or maybe pushed somebody. 2007 kids run to whine to a teacher about everything.
Remember in the good old days? (If your under 30 years old stop reading now, your too young) The boy behind you pulled your ponytail and you just hit him? We just took care of the little things ourselves, you did not involve the teacher in everything. You got pushed, you just pushed back and it was over with. NNNOOOO not these days. No playing tackle football, no tag, no chasing each other, no touching, no talking in line. At my son's school..you can only WHISPER in the lunchroom. The principal stands at the microphone yelling, STUDENTS YOU ARE NOT WHISPERING! Hello! Do they really want to waste so much time on this? He's 6 people! Raise your hand when your done, when you get up you must only walk to the right, follow the pattern to the trash, etc. etc. There were so many rules, I could not remember if I EVEN ate my lunch on parents day. So here I am in the Principals office, because my son likes to hug kids. Blame that on his previous daycare, Lutheran daycare where kids played and hugged each other on Friday because they wouldn't see each other for 2 days. Where they had chapel once a week, and talked about loving God and everything around you. Where they made their own choices...and became smart little loving people, until they started Kindergarten in a public school.

Dust settles

Wow. Got back from Vegas yesterday. Watched the Stardust casino come down. Amazing! They put on quite a show to a huge crowd at 2:30am. Cannot believe how loud the explosion was. Quickly afterwards, everyone was swallowed up by a enormous cloud of dirt. People were running to get away from it, but we just took it all in. Covered our faces with our shirt sleeves and walked with others down the middle of Las Vegas Blvd. The air was so full of dust and dirt that the street lights were barely visible and you could only see your shoes as you walked. We kept looking for the neon sign of the Frontier casino and could barely make it out. I felt anxious and a bit panicky but kept up the quick pace of the others around us. As we passed the Frontier casino, there on the street corner were four young adult males. Dressed in plaid shorts and shirts (Like Grandpa wore, with black socks and dress shoes) they each had a beer in their hand and were saying the world was coming to an end, After taking a better look (Not easy) I realized that they were all wearing glasses that were completely covered in dirt and they were not able to see out of. It was the funniest thing I have ever seen an regret not stopping long enough to photograph them, it would have made a great front page picture for the Las Vegas newspaper.